The next president?

I'll tell you right now, this column is not for everyone. But it's funny. Most of it. Heed the warning that precedes it, and beyond that, stay off my back.

A few of the highlights:

This guy is not losing any daily efficiency to cheap whiskey hangovers. He is in fact better than any of us, and is more qualified to be president of the United States than anyone who has ever lived.

Your dog does more drugs than Mitt Romney, and a typical American third-grader shows more signs of hard living.

Mitt Romney may or may not be human, but he has no human faults.

Five sons attest to his reproductive superiority. Everyone knows that you get boys if you try harder.

In another life, Mitt could be head of the Luftwaffe, or the Earth's human representative to the First Intergalactic All Species Congress.

Yes, Mormonism is freaky and weird, but what are the other choices? Islam? Talk about nuttier than Chinese chicken! Or how about Scientology? Sure Mormonism is freaky, but it's cuddly-freaky. Scientology is just creepy-freaky. Who doesn't love Mitt Romney? Who doesn't love Steve Young?

Think of Mormon as something as weird as Catholicism (how about those red satin pillbox hats at the recent cardinals' elevation ceremony), but lacking the patina of historical distance and the interior decorating skills of Michelangelo.

More importantly he discusses the problems Romney will have with the evangelical base of the Republican party, and I think this guy is dead on. It's strange to contemplate that for a fellow like Romney's his religiosity will pose more of a problem with the religious than with the less/nonreligious.

Also, National Journal has some interesting analysis of a recent poll examining Bush's support with his base. (I don't think this one requires registration).

Margin For Error: The Bush Base